Why you Should Never go 50/50 on a Date (5 parts out of 5)

Princess · May 27, 2022

All parts included in this thread from part 1 to 5:
Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 1)

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 2)

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 3)
Why you Should Never go 50/50 on a Date Part 4

Why you Should Never Go 50/50 on a Date Part 5

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments

PART 1:

1) "I do 50/50 so that the guy wouldn't use the date against me and demand sex after"

So after spending money on food and a little shopping, probably cost him around 100$ give or take, he automatically has the right to sleep with you? How is that fair? Last I remember a guy spend way more on his bros on a night out drinking, does he automatically has the right to sleep with them too?
Sorry for the harsh example, but hookers can charge more than that per hour. Escorts and sugar babies? Even more. And scrotes have to pay each time before they can get access to their service. But you are expected to sleep with them regularly because he paid for a measly dinner once in a while?
So you do 50/50, you keep dating them, you start to catch feelings - and then he asks for sex. Will the 50/50 still protect you? He can say that he loves you, he wants to know you better, he sees a future with you, he starts triangulating you with another girl so that you give in etc2 - men don't have just one way to coerce you into sex, they have many. They can play the long ass game if they want to.
Men get used to things fast - and he will always use that baseline to treat you. If you get him too used to 50/50 on dates, meaning he never need to go the extra mile for you yet still get all the love and affection - he probably wouldn't magically change and spoil you better after you two get official. He can get you at 50%, why would he ever go 100%?
And also, you went on a DATE but you still have to spend money? Why do you even go on one then? That is like being invited to a gala yet you still have to pay - sounds like a scam. He asked YOU out, he should know what that means, duh.
And if YOU ask him out? Just don't do it sis. Don't seek men out, it is not worth it. Men look down on women who ask them out, no matter how you approach that invitation. They just see you as easy target for the evening. And have no problem making you pay for all of it while also demanding sex after.
Rejecting 50/50 and expecting him to pay without him demanding sex after is a way to draw out the red flags early on - it can help you filter out the ones seriously pursuing you and those who just use the date to get sex. Get used to block and delete, up and leave, bathroom and ghost, and all the tactics to stop the date before it gets worse sisters.
There's no need to be nice and polite to a scrote who clearly have hidden intentions. Left him in the dust, prioritize yourself. And yes that does mean you will be the cold-hearted b***h to him, but who cares? He is the one with evil intention from the beginning, you need to do what you can to protect yourself.
If he already tallying up how you should "pay him back" after doing some miniscule nice things for you - I don't care how much of a "great conversationalist" he is, block him immediately. Keeping tabs just show that that person is a selfish, narcissist, self-serving, stingy scrote. Nothing good will come out from being around him.
And here's the kicker: HVM despise 50/50. Every men have ego against women, and HVM use that ego in a healthy way - aka proving the date that he is the man - capable of protecting and providing for you, proving that he is the best option for you.
In a way HVM courtship is somewhat similar to how male animals behave when they want to attract the females.
Masculinity thrives on showing femininity that they are the best, impressing you with their capabilities and sources. You know that feeling of puffed up pride swelling in the chest? HVM get that from showcasing his hero-ness and making you swoon. Offering and insisting to go 50/50 is actually seen as an insult to them - you make them feel like they aren't enough.

2) "I want to show him that I am financially capable/ a strong independent woman/ not a gold digger"

First and foremost, THIS IS A LIE. Men do not go into it like we do when out on dates - he is not sizing you up and computing the pros and cons of you during the date. Men date with feelings, women date with logic - YOU are the ones thinking during the date, men just feels. Chances are, if he asked you out on a date he already has a good feeling about you and want to see how it goes after spending an evening together.
Unless he dates to see how much he can wring out of you, then yeah he will size you up during the date. If at any point during the date, you feel like you need to "prove" yourself in anyway due to his words or actions - that's a red flag.
HVM don't do this - he already know what you are capable off, he saw you or at least have heard of good things about you. That's why he asked you out of a date - he wants to know more about you. He is ready to invest in the date because he already did the cost-benefit analysis way before and decide that you are absolutely worth the effort.
And yeah he knows you aren't a gold digger - he knows the difference. You know that too - you aren't out there demanding him Pradas and Luis Vutton on the spot, you just ask for a nice bouquet. There's a difference.
HVM don't keep tabs, HVM don't expect you to pay back, HVM don't expect you to do anything other than enjoying yourself and be impressed by his efforts.
So if you go on that date trying to "prove" that you can pay for yourself - that signals to him that you aren't impressed by his efforts. A sure fire way to end the date on an awkward, if not sour note.

3) "But what do I do/ how do I act when receiving all these treatments?/ I ended up feeling like I owe him because he is being so nice to me!"

Here's the big news: growing up, women have been brainwashed so hard by the patriarchy into thinking that when people decide to do nice things to us, we are obligated to pay them back tenfold. Or else we are a selfish, heartless monster.
This brainwashing is neatly disguised as "moral values: how to be a good person". Men on the other hand, get used to people coddling and treating them nicely without expecting them to do shit.
This give rise to hoards of people-pleasing pickmes ready to serve self-entitled scrotes who think they are God-given gift to earth. It is an effective system.
Think back to the last time somebody treated you nicely/ spoiling you with gifts/affection, how do you really feel? Did you feel happy, content and loved, or did you suffocate in anxiety thinking about how to pay all of that back?
Now flip the script around, a woman decide to do all the nice things to a man - does he get riddled in anxiety thinking about how to pay all of that back, or did he just take and act like he deserve all of that anyway?
And now lets really look at the modern dating landscape - why in the bloody hell is it "normal" for the men to expect "sexual payment" from you after some stupid dinner that they choose to give to you? And women have to resort to paying their half so that they wouldn't be coerced into sex? Cannot you see just how wrong that is?
When you decide to do nice things to someone, do you keep tabs on the total amount you give, and demand that the person pay back tenfold? Hopefully not, because you are kind for kindness sake. You just want the person to be happy, and the smile and thank you is enough. Otherwise it gets too awkward right?
^^^ That is how a date with a HVM that genuinely likes you will be - he does nice things because he wants you to be happy. He has his budget all prepared, he knows what he is getting into, and he is ready to impress. He wants to make you happy, content and loved - and seeing you smile and your eyes light up, hearing your thanks is all he needs. Even if you decide, after a while that you both aren't compatible - he still wouldn't put the things he paid for above your head. That's just not how kind generous people works.
As a woman, we all need to relearn what it feels like to be loved and treated nicely, and learn the art of receiving. HVM wants to give, he wants to feel like the hero for making you smile and happy, he wants to be the man that makes you swoon. The masculine thrive on giving to feminine, and the feminine thrive on receiving.
And no, you DO NOT owe anybody anything just because they decide they want to be nice to you, give you something. Even if he bought you a damn island, you still don't owe him your body.

TLDR;

HVM despise 50/50 - it is actually seen as an insult to them - you make it look like their efforts aren't enough.
HVM don't keep tabs, HVM don't expect you to pay back, HVM don't expect you to do anything other than enjoying yourself and be impressed by his efforts.
50/50 won't protect you from being pressured into sex - men don't have just one way to coerce you into sex, they have many.
A man on a DATE insisting that you pay half in itself is a major red flag.
You DO NOT owe anybody anything just because they decide they want to be nice to you, give you something. Even if he bought you a damn island, you still don't owe him your body.

Princess · May 27, 2022

PART 2:

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 2)

This is a continuation of this post: Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 1)
This time I'll be focusing on arguments most commonly used by women who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem.
4) "He is far more attractive than me and I'm afraid to lose him!"

Firstly, remember the FDS mantra "dick is abundant and low value"
Secondly, if he asked you out on a date, that means you are attractive to him. Unless you are the one asking him out which we already covered in part one - DO NOT ASK A MAN OUT.
Thirdly, attractive men are still men - ultimately we will provide more to the relationship down the line and if you end up getting saddled with a lazy jobless useless narcissist manchild who suck the life out of you, that handsome face and good sex won't mean shit.
Similarly, a High Value handsome man despise 50/50 just like any other HVM. Again, men have ego and HVM control that ego in a healthy way - he wants to prove himself to you by making sure you are impressed by his efforts on the date. Do you not want to be spoiled and catered to on a date with a gorgeous man? Going 50/50 will not only damped his excitement towards you, it is also emasculating him - you are showing him that he is not capable of taking care of you to the point that you have to pay for yourself.
If he is a handsome guy and he insist to go 50/50 - that's a glaring sign that you are probably date no #50 and other similarly desperate women have done the same in the past - your "kindness" is nothing new.
So you go 50/50, he feels a "connection" and seduce you to his bed? Yep, you aren't "the one". He has used that line on countless women and you are just another body to add to the count.
You will not lose him - you never had him in the first place.

5) "I am (insert self-depreciating talk here) and this is the only way for me to get a date/get him to like me"

I've observed a phenomenon whereby teenage girls who think they aren't 10/10 start giving away gifts, food and money unprompted to teenage boys in an effort to be liked and considered as a potential partner. And thus, going 50/50 on a date seems like natural transition to them.
This also leads to sex after the first or a few very low effort dates because the girl is desperate to be liked and to be chosen.
And here's the kicker - those same boys, who gets free stuff easily treat the teenage girls with less respect than girls who don't do that. Sure, they surround the pickme more frequently but behind her back, they talk about her like she worth less than dirt. She is the go to girl when they want easy sex, money and stuff - that's all she amounts to them.
So in this instance - going 50/50 not only doesn't protect her from being pressure into sex, but she is treated with less respect that girls who are in the same conventional attractive scale but don't do what her did.
So every time you found yourself thinking this way, ask yourself - "Don't I deserve happiness? Why should I give myself away to be taken advantage of by other people? Who are they? Why do they get to use and abuse me? What's so great about them that they get to be happy while making me miserable? Can't I be happy? I WANT TO BE HAPPY!"
If you can't yet stop those self-depreciating talk, at least force yourself to stubbornly wanting to be happy, and walk away from anyone and anything that try to take away that happiness from you.
The next step is to go do and ideal date that will make you happy ALONE. Dress fancy, get a fancy delivery, get some flowers, do all that fancy candlelight dinner or whatever you want - and do that as frequently as you can. At home of course because COVID - stay safe!
Don't think too much and just make it a routine - maybe reserve a special day every week to do that.
This is how you create a standard - eventually you will get to that standard where anything less than what you can do yourself is intolerable.
It is like when you get so used to high-quality salmon that you can't stomach a lower-grade salmon. You still eating it out of politeness, but deep down you know where your standard is.
You can't control how other people will treat you, but you can definitely control how to react to the instance where people don't treat you better than your minimum standard - aka block and delete, up and leave, bathroom and ghost.
Notice how any of this have nothing to do with your (insert self-depreciating talk) - because IT DOESN'T MATTER. If he asked you out, he better be treating you good, period.
No justification, none of that sizing you up and making it a transaction bullshit.
And if nobody want to ask you out? Then treat yourself so good that you don't need anybody to make you happy. That's how it should be - a partner is meant to make you happier than you already are, otherwise he isn't needed.

6) "I am lonely and just want company/sex"

Which one is harder - being harder on yourself for 6 months to a year, training yourself to fill up your time doing things and hobbies that benefit you while fighting that thought and feelings of loneliness or;
Go get that 50/50 date, eventually give in to his coercion for sex, get ghosted the morning after or get him as a partner and keep having to do all the damn things so that he will stay with you. While he continue to treat you like trash. For 5, 10, 20 years?
You will have to suffer either way - but which one is worth suffering for?
Yes, I admit that being alone is lonely at the beginning and sometimes, but if you are willing to suffer just for a year, you will eventually get used to this new lifestyle and found yourself getting busy with many many things that make you happy and content. Even lazing around doing nothing is beneficial for us women - we need frequent rests and stay away from any kind of stress and toxicity. You can't get that if you get saddled with a toxic manchild.
For those who think "well, he thinks he is using me but I am actually also using him for sex" - but at what cost? You are still vulnerable every time you are alone and naked in his room, you still got to worry about accidentally getting pregnant because some men think condom is the evilist evil to ever evil in the history of mankind, you still are at risk of being raped and killed because date is a common tactic for serial killers to lure his victims, you still have to spend money getting ready for the date, still forking out money for the "50/50", still at risk of catching feelings because women are emotionally intelligent but also more emotionally vulnerable in an intimate date setting, still have to look out for narcissist manipulations and well, pretty much think about all of the paranoid risks you have when going out with a stranger - and trust all of them. Because those paranoia are grounded in reality. You just never know who will be your nightmare.
We have to realize women will always have more to lose when we choose to go on a date. When going out on a date, men are afraid of getting duped by catfishers, while women are afraid of getting raped and killed.

TLDR;

If a handsome guy asked you out on a date - chances are you are attractive to him regardless of what society says. If he is a HVM, he will want to impress you and going 50/50 not only will dampen his excitement, he will feel emasculated because you are signaling that he isn't enough.
Yes, even if he looks like Henry Cavill or Jason Momoa secret lovechild - he is still a man. HVM handsome man will want to spoil you, LVM handsome man will want to take advantage of you.
Even if you aren't conventionally attractive - going 50/50 won't get you the respect you deserve. You are at risk of being viewed as less than instead because your kindness, to men just signal that you are desperate for their attention and you know how men treat desperate pickmes.
Start creating your own standard for an ideal date by going on that date ALONE routinely; creating a date standard will train you to not be able to tolerate anything less than what you are used to treat yourself to.
Even if you go on dates simply for sex, we women still have to shoulder 100% of the risks. Remember, when going out on a date, men are afraid of getting duped by catfishers, while women are afraid of getting raped and killed. You never know just who will be your nightmare. It is really worth it?

Princess · May 27, 2022

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 3)

STRATEGY
This is a continuation of these posts:
Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 1)
Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 2)
This time I will be focusing on a very specific type of women who wholeheartedly believe that going 50/50 on a date is "just common sense" and a fair thing to do. Very special thanks to u/laffytaggy/ comment that pretty much give birth to this post.
Also tagging the awesome mods u/Phoenix__Rising2018/ and u/electroloop/ - thank you so much for the shout out!
And you guys better strap in for a really loooooong ride because this one hits very close to home - I was literally this woman before I found FDS. Here we go!

7) "I am a strong and independent woman who earns my own money/earn more than the guy"
OR
"I am financially secure, what's wrong with paying my half? I don't need a man to pay for me - I am not a gold digger!"
OR
"Society has put too much pressure on the man to pay for everything - they deserve to be treated well too!" OR
"We are both adults making our own money, plus I like meeting new people so going dutch allows me to enjoy the date with no pressure or feeling awkward"
OR
"Having a man pays me makes me look like a pathetic damsel in distress/helpless vulnerable woman/weak - I am not that! I am a go-getter, I get shit done, I am strong - I can pay for myself!"
OR
"I am a feminist and I believe in equal rights between men and women so we all should equally pay in date too!"
OR - you get the idea. I don't think the label "pickmeisha" accurately describe this type - at least not for me because strictly speaking I wasn't desperate for men - I was desperate for the recognition and respect that men get in our patriarchal society - the easiest way to describe it is that I want to be treated like how society treats men - specifically, privileged white men.
I like the term used by Youtuber Chloe_ - a Masculine-energy dominant woman or Masculina; the type of woman who relies heavily on her masculine energy to maneuver this male-dominated system.
Without going too much into the jargons, I would describe a Masculina as the Do-er and Giver;
- your reliable leader, no-nonsense boss who get shit done and very goal focused,
- multitasking champion who seemingly have everything going for her while juggling a millions things at the same time,
- the one that loudly and sternly speaks up and argue to get what she wants,
- the combative debater who tell it like it is, the one who isn't afraid to challenge men and the authority,
- the one that will take care of her tribe,
- the one that gives and keep on giving, the one that protects and lead and steer the wheel,
- the one that decides and going right into the problem-solving mode, the one that plans and have backup plans and have backup plans for her backup plans
- think Oprah, Michele Obama, Selena Williams, Queen Elizabeth, Princess Anne
- the toughest most respected woman you know, the iron maiden,
- the single mother who carried her entire family on her back, the breadwinner matriarch.
Not to be confused with masculine-looking woman, Masculina can either look tomboyish or very womanly, but it is how she acts, how she thinks and how she carry herself that differentiates her from a Feminine-energy dominant woman.
Or you might be more familiar with the toxic Masculina - aka the Karens;
- the one who walks into a room and pretty much want to control everything and everyone,
- the one that demands you follow her orders or else,
- the one that gets ultra defensive and aggressive even over the pettiest of shit and immediately gets into heated argument anytime, anywhere,
- the one that always want to dominate every conversation and situation - and gets mega-pissed when things don't go her way,
- the bossy karens who can never calm TF down.
My breakdowns this time will be entirely from my own personal experience, so whether you want to agree or not it is entirely up to you - there's no right or wrong here, just why I decide to no longer be a Masculina based on my personal journey.

BEFORE FDS: How I became a Masculina
1) I had to grow up and acting mature way too early because of my environment

It is the classic story - poor family, oldest daughter, I had to step up when the younger siblings came along and forced to mature beyond my years.
Also relatives on both side are shitty and bully us as the poorest, so I developed that ultra-protective instinct and be on high alert whenever there are family gatherings.
I am one of those gifted child - acing in school with minimal help so the adult didn't even bother covering their hostility (it is an asian thing, academics competition is vicious) - they wanted to crush me - so I had to vigilantly protect myself by relying on my masculine energy.
I grew up to be that no-nonsense, leadership-candidate young girl who was all about solving problems and moving to the next thing. I mean when you are poor, you really didn't have the luxury to sit down and talk your hearts out - it was all about solving one problem and immediately face the next because the problems never end.
I train myself to be okay with not asking for more - I am okay with not having new clothes because my younger siblings needed them more, okay with just enough allowance to eating once a day, okay with leftovers from friends - I learn to adapt and to be unfazed by them.
I stopped myself from feeling shame and being embarrassed because: a) I get into embarrassing situations almost everyday and feeling shameful that frequently was exhausting, and b) those feelings won't help me deal with my situations.
I also experienced a lot of betrayals so I stopped trusting people, asking for help, relying on people, hoping that people will be kind to me, reaching out, being vulnerable - and just 100% rely only on myself. That way I won't get hurt by anyone and anything.
Also people often had hidden intentions when they helped me so I became paranoid of asking for and getting any help.

2) Being a Masculina gives me the power, immediate respect and freedom that I've never experienced before - it is like putting on a Superhero suit

Do you know that feeling of ecstasy when you say something, and people around you nodding their head, saying "you are right SayNad, we should do it that way," and people just follow your orders without a question?
When you grew up poor and a girl - you were invisible and people expect you to just shut up. So growing with this Masculina suit gives me so much power high that I became addicted to it.
I finally get to have a say in things, and when I lead and get the shit done - the more people seemingly flock around me, praise me, respect me, seek me out for advice and help. As a teenager, that's like the biggest gift ever. I felt important.
That's how it turns into me wanting to always dominate the space, feeling like I am right 90% of the time, extremely and irrationally ashamed when I made even the tiniest mistake, and I get irritated easily.
My teenage and young adult years were just me in a emotional roller coaster every day - I was either chasing after the high of respect and praises, or I suffer the inner turmoil of shame and anxiety because "I should've done it better! Why did I make such a stupid mistake!"
Also the downside of being the "badass getting shit done" and the "one that knows it all" is that people are comfortable letting me do all the work while they stayed back and be the cheering squad. I let them be because I wanted the result to be "perfect" - so I had to do it myself.
That led me into carrying the most load in any group projects, sacrificing my sleep and health while everybody else got to put their name on it.
There are a few people who had enough empathy try their best to help me - but me being in my adrenaline overdrive ended up raging and yelling at them for not doing it "perfectly".
And yeah, other people had put an impossible standard on me - they see me as that tough, take no shit, get them done, knows how to solve young girl that will save the day.
So when I make a mistake, even a teeny tiny one - they act like I just commit genocide. While other people can do even bigger mistakes but they get away all happy and dandy.
I feel wronged but I blamed myself because I believe that impossible standard was what I should be - so I keep putting in more efforts to be better.
This leads to even more working and even less resting. And I get ultra-defensive when someone points out my mistake or try to give me any advice.
That's how I started getting sick almost every month and developing several diseases due to extreme stress. It was just like I am in a constant state of fight-or-flight.
That's around the time I finally reached my breaking point - and discover FDS.

EARLY YEARS OF FDS: I reached my breaking point
1) I worked for a narcissistic boss

Around that time I ended up working with a narcissistic boss, stayed with her for 4 years because my Masculina ass was like "No big deal, I can handle this."
My former workmates all only stayed for 6 months max and warned me about her, but I was still in that Masculina pride and thought they were all weak.
BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER! She wrung me so, sooo dry I developed insomnia, weekly migraine, carpal tunnel, and a throat problem. At the end of that forth year - I was just so burned out and exhausted, I didn't have the energy to feel anything.
One thing led to another - and I ended up in a somewhat homeless situation where I had no money, no strength, no energy and I just really don't want to even think about solving problems anymore - I was just done. So so done.
I turned to God (or inner self for my non-religious sisters) and just... surrender I guess. I was burning TF out and I gave up. I asked God to just help me, make all of this make sense, why did this happen after all the struggle I endure, the work I did, the efforts I put in - why wasn't I happy? Do I not deserve to be happy? - I let all of it go, surrender and put my faith in whatever God's plan for me.
That was also around the time I spend more time on reddit and one thing led to another - I found FDS. Can't even remember how exactly, but before I realize it I was reading all the posts.

2) It was hard at first to accept FDS's Dating Standards

I agree wholeheartedly with vetting the low value men and not give them any chances - but when it comes to how you treat the man, I just couldn't wrap my head around letting him pay all the expenses while you just sit back and receive.
My Masculina mindset was big on that "everything should be fair, so we have to share the burden" so thinking that letting the man doing all the work sounded unfair.
It also didn't help that in every movies, dramas and books - if a woman apply the FDS standards during the date, she is either the gold digger, the evil rich fiancée, the opportunist marriage-breaker, the superficial side chick etc. Basically, she is evil.
It was hard to imagine how this date would go nicely - how can you just let the man pay without it looking like you took advantage of him?
Also I was projecting the image of my struggling father struggling on these men, so I just don't have the heart to let them pay.
There's also the mindset that since I can do the thing and solve the problem - I don't want to trouble him. Miss independent yo - if I can handle the drill and mow the lawn, why should I ask him? I am not "lazy"!
Even if he turns out to be the highest value HVM that want to provide for me and get me anything I want - my "fair and just" side just couldn't accept that.
So honestly for a year or two on this sub, I believe in FDS's principle to prioritize myself even in a relationship, but still on the fence about the dating standards.

3) I notice the talk about Femininity and Masculinity on this sub, and started getting curious

Growing up as a Masculina, for me "being feminine" just means being a weak doormat. I was surrounded by married pickmeisha doormats and I saw how horrible their husbands and in laws treat them - and they in turn become nasty and horrible towards younger women like me.
While "being masculine/ being a man" is equated with all the power and greatness and coolness - I too had that phase where I wish I was born as a man instead.
The rare times that I do meet seemingly happy couple, the woman always are highly educated, comes from a rich family, and have a high-paying job. So I thought that's what I should do if I want to have a happy marriage.
But as I grew up, getting higher education and working in the higher education circle - I discovered that these "happily married men with high paying jobs and a similarly educated working wife" are very holier-than-thous and seem comfortable making their wives paying half the bills but doing 100% of the housework and childcare.
The lot of them look very kind and knowledgeable on the outside - but on the closer look they are very insecure and easily offended.
So understandably I got very confused - what on earth is a real masculine man, and what is a real a feminine woman?
What does a HVM really looks like? How about a HVW? At this point I am totally on the single-for-lifer train so I start researching on true femininity and masculinity just to satisfy my curiosity.
I started listening to SheraSeven, The Universe Guru, and recently Chloe_, Chengi's World, Dr. Michelle Daf and Breeny Lee.
I learned about this thing called Role Reversal - basically in a romantic relationship, the woman takes the role of the pursuer, provider, giver etc. (aka the "male" role) while the man gets to be the one receiving, being pursued, being the prize etc. (aka the "female" role).
It makes me realize how normalized this role reversal relationship is in our modern society. It is not weird anymore to see the wife leading the marriage and controlling everything while the man passively sits back, being lazy playing with his phones and being catered to. People around me just accept that that's how it is but it always feel weird and unnatural to me for some reason.
Upon further research, I discover the concept of masculine and feminine energy and while it sounds a little woowoo - it does explain why I feel uncomfortable and weirded out about this seemingly "normal" role-reversal relationship.
Even as a Masculina, I can't accept that I have to be the one pursuing - that's just not right!
I understand the urges of Masculinas to tell their man how it should be done etc. because we want the shit done right, and sometimes those men be testing our patience with the way they do things so we feel like we have to take over otherwise it won't be done - but doing that means the man got to be passive and let us do all the damn bloody works all the damn bloody time? Nope, I draw the line there. No way.
At this point I realize something has to change, otherwise my Masculina will be the my downfall.

AFTER 3 YEARS OF FDS: Why I decide to stop being a Masculina and fully embrace my femininity
1) I realize I attracted Feminine-energy dominant Men as a Masculina

During my Masculina years, I noticed that I attracted a very specific type of men - Feminine-energy dominant Men. I call this type Feminina.
A healthy HVM who is in tune with his feminine energy can be the best well-rounded man you will ever see - an empathetic leader, a creative goal-driven provider, a strict yet calming father.
However, Feminina often ends up embodying only the toxic traits. I suspect laziness and too much "boys will be boys" coddling are part of the reasons.
Feminina is your typical LVM/NVM/ZVM scrotes but with an added characteristic - they seemingly want to be the "woman" in the relationship and fully onboard on making you the "man".
This is your whiny can-you-be-my-mummy-but-also-give-me-sex manchild, gigolos for hire, the highly insecure the-world-is-too-cruel-on-me-wahh complainers, the one that gets jealous of us because "Women have it sooooo easyyyyyy", the I-want-to-be-coddled-and-spoiled-too-pay-for-me!!!, the passive ones who have no drive or goals and content with just drifting by all day, the mummy's boy etc.
Basically if he seems very jealousy of you as a woman and complain about we living on "easy mode", and try to "take you down a peg or two" at every turn, and just want to take, take, take - chances are he is a Feminina.
It is that jealousy and that eagerness to compete with me, sizing me up and asking me to prove my worth to him, whining and complaining about why can't he can't get the same treatment as women, pouting and sulking when he doesn't get what he want.
But when in the presence of higher male authority or genuine masculine men - Feminina seemingly just shrink down and start ass-kissing. "Bros before hoes" anyone?
One dude even told me "If I am a woman I will definitely be a better lover because I know how to please a man" - which yeahhhh it was weird. I was like "uhhh you have something else to tell me?"
One great explanation about this phenomenon is How is the Feminine Male Formed? and here's how to spot a feminine man.
Andd you guess it - this is the type that I found very, veryyyyy onboard with the 50/50 "female empowerment!!!" date. Hell, he won't even mind you pay 100% - he is very happy to take everything you give.
I guess this is why they say opposites attract when it comes to relationship - because when one side is the giver, one has to be the receiver. There must be a yin to the yang.
So when a Masculina gets into the relationship ready to give and take lead, of course they will attract Feminina who is happy to take and wants to be led.
And here's the thing: I DON'T WANT TO BE THE MAN IN THE RELATIONSHIP!
Yeah, I am capable of that but WHY THE FRICK DO I HAVE TO DO THAT???
I don't want to be the one doing the pursuing, the one planning, the one seeking out, the one deciding, the one dragging him out, the one worrying - I have been that my entire life growing up, I don't be that in a relationship too! I am not his Goddamn parent!
And I definitely don't want to pay for something I am being asked out for - I put aside time in my precious schedule for you - and you want me to pay? That's rude and downright insulting.
If I want to go out and pay for something I will go out ALONE - I prefer tranquility and silence while dining.
Believe it or not, male company is something I tolerate, not something I will lose my mind over. Feminina lovess to act like his presence is the savior of mankind or something and you better be groveling with thankfulness he wants to grace you with his presence - yeah, keep dreaming dude.
And that pouting and sulking? That ain't cute, that's disgusting. You are not 5 FFS.
There's also those chronically insecure men drowning in their toxic masculinity that try to intimidate, neg, compete, and instead of celebrating my achievements, start getting jealous and try to diminish me and propping his mediocre self up.
And it is not just a stranger get pissy pissy, it is a man who is supposedly trying to woo me. I mean just how insecure are you that you start attacking the instance you know the woman has something good going on? That gets my ovaries shrink in record time. And he still dare to ask for my number, ugh.
He is all about performative masculinity - expensive fast cars, watches (?), smoking/vaping, being with the "gang", newest sneakers, talking over you when he isn't even part of the conversation (??), suddenly bragging and humblebragging unprompted, and whatever else cringe-y acts they do to show off.
They equate those acts with being a "real man" but seriously, they just look desperate and trying too hard, it is weird.
These men are just so catty, so gossipy, so jealousy, so insecure, so fragile, so whiny, so drama-filled so-- I just can't deal. I give up, I can't.

2) I realize that I probably repel High Value Masculine Men

One of the non-negotiable standard I have for a man is that he must have an extremely strong instinct as a protector. He must be able to protect his family when disaster/crime occurs.
The closest portrayal of that type I can find is Ben Taylor in San Andreas. While The Rock is the epitome of machoism and toughness and all that - it is Ben's immediate protectiveness switch turned on the second disaster hits, and not only for a woman he just met but also his brother, protecting them both with his whole body that gives me the butterflies. That's a man's man for me.
And I also realize this is what I desire so much because this is what my masculine energy is like!
As a Masculina my number one principle is that I am very protective of those I cared for and is ready at any moment to shield them from harm's way.
So in a way, I instinctively know what kind of masculine energy I am looking for - now I need to bring forth my feminine energy so that I can be found. I don't need to pursue, but I do need to come out from my hiding place.
But if I'm still in my Masculina - it probably wouldn't work out even if I found him because masculine energy and masculine energy will clash.
He would want to protect me - that means he would want to lead the relationship but my Masculina pride will feel like he is trying to control and boss me around.
A healthy loving relationship can't be formed if we both are fighting for the captain's role.
A sister interestingly note that she finds it unacceptable when a man feels emasculated if a woman pays for the date.
But here's the thing - if he doesn't feel emasculated when the woman pays for the date, he won't feel emasculated when the woman pays for the bills, won't feel emasculated when the woman becomes the breadwinner, won't feel emasculated when asking the woman to lend him money or support his lifestyle - but will feel emasculated when the woman rightfully tell him what to do since she leads the relationship - because he is still a man with ego.
And that feeling will grow into deep raging resentment and that's how you find celebrities with amazing gorgeous successful wife cheating with the babysitter or the hooker.
Every man, even HVM by design have ego - in a healthy way, that ego exists in the form of a man's pride. That ego and pride is what propelling him to achieve his goals and do what's right. Without a man's pride, you pretty much have a "whatever you say honey" guy that have no opinion and backbone, he just go along with whatever you say and do whatever you want him to do.
I want a man that prided himself on his ability to be able to protect and provide for me and his future kids. I want him to feel proud when he see me happy because he spoils me. I want a man that feels proud when he can be a great masculine example for his children. I want a man who feels proud when he is able to satisfy my needs and desire in all forms.
I want a man who is proud he can be the masculine to my feminine.
And I realized staying in my Masculina will not make that wish comes true - I have to change and be brutally honest with myself.

3) I realize that the fate awaiting me if I continue being a Masculina and ending up with a Feminina is pretty much hell on earth

It is already happening around us and I'd say, pretty much normalized now that women is forced to be the Masculina and do all the work while paying 50% and more of the bills, while the men happily being the Feminina and get catered to 24/7. I mean a man moving into a woman's place after starting the relationship and smooching off her is normal nowadays!
That's 50/50 date thing is not just a one-time thing - that is the beginning to a very bleak, exhausting and unhappy future should you choose to marry that man.
Don't just listen to me tho since I never married and have limited dating experience - listen from women who have been through it all for years. Here's a real life experience I found from a commentor on Chloe_ 's video Life With a BROKE MAN: The 50/50 Scam!

As a formerly married Woman, my 50/50 mentality has been completely ousted! I once believed in going 50/50 and I did while married. I chose that route primarily because I felt like it was US taking care of EACH OTHER. However, a 50/50 split on bills does not and will not ever equate to a 50/50 split on household/child labor! Unless a Man is OCD (literally) and loves to cook, the bulk of the chores, cooking, errands and child-rearing will be placed on the Woman. It will never be a fair exchange. If we're being honest, ALL relationships require us to give up something. When you break it down, it's literally a toss up between giving up financial resources OR acts of service. If a Man wants home cooked meals on a regular basis, a clean home, clean clothes, his kids taken care of (including school obligations, appointments, play dates, extra curricular activities), a pleasant/feminine Woman who's in shape and stays in full makeup and at the ready (when he's READY), he's going to have to contribute A LOT more financially as he's fully benefiting from her acts of service!
A Woman has no business taking on everything that comes with having a Husband and family AND still have to worry about helping with finances. HOW IS HE HELPING HER??? Women are literally taking on all this responsibility, giving up their lives, youth, bodies, health and appearance just to say she has a Man/Husband! It's bullshit! We weren't put on this Earth to make the lives of Black Men easier while making ours harder! We're both supposed to be making life easier for EACH OTHER! Unfortunately, society and the Black communities raise Women to believe having "a Man" defines you as a Woman and how good of a Woman you are based on whether you can keep him - even if he isn't worth shit. Many Black Men don't make enough to sustain a family alone but still expect to occupy the driver's seat - ALONE! And, as quiet as it's kept, many Black Men have undiagnosed mental health issues! Black folks still insist on believing prayer fixes every damn thing and never get their children help - even when they know they need to! Black Women are unleashing their mental cases on unsuspecting Women! Then, they have the audacity to look down on us for not being able to somehow "hold down" a problem they've spent years enabling! Many Black Men are WHOLE PROBLEMS for Black Women. Yet, they're still being brainwashed to believe they're the prize! "MAKE IT MAKE SENSE"! That was my experience and the experience of every woman in my family. They're all broken down with nothing to show for 25-30 year marriages! They all worked like mules behind broke, cheating, lying-ass-men-boys! I chose to throw in the towel and take my life back after 5 years of hell! They can have it! I gained weight, developed high blood pressure, was chronically stressed and depressed dealing with my ex and his bs - all while doing the 50/50 thing... Got rid of him, his issues and SURPRISINGLY, I'm back to normal! SMDH!
What many older Black Women who are still married/widowed, won't tell you, is how much they've sacrificed and how little they got in return FOR those sacrifices! They ended up overweight with health problems, bad teeth, bad hair and in debt because they were determined to be "married" to a Man who couldn't afford to care for his family without her working like a mule behind him! I did it once and I realized I had nothing to show for how hard I was working - outside of a stupid ass ring and an even stupider man-child. I REFUSE to ever do it, again!
Ladies, make the best of your youth! Dress up. Be pretty. Be feminine. LIVE YOUR LIFE ON YOUR TERMS! If a Man cannot do more for you than you do for yourself, don't you dare give up your life for him! I'm 36 and realize I still have my entire life ahead of me. I only have one child. My daughter will be turning 9 in November. My life and focus is on US, now - THAT'S IT! My ex stepped up and we've been co-parenting since the day I left him. He takes care of ALL her financial needs and has her every other day. I got my life back and can do what I need to do for ME!

Besides, nothing kills attraction faster than a man who keeps tabs on everything and reminding me I need to "pay my share" for this and that, always insisting on "proving my worth" because he "doesn't want to be an atm machine", always questioning what I "bring to the table" - I mean am I on a date or on an audition? If you don't like me then don't seek me out, why are we wasting both our times here?
A man that is so used to 50/50 relationship, will NEVER want to step up and cover 100% when something happens to you - we have seen it and heard of it, many women got left behind when they suffer diseases or unable to cover their 50% share. Why suffer when they can just find a new playmate?

4) I am tired, I am exhausted, I burned out. I can no longer carry myself in this Masculina role.

The plain truth is - this superhero suit is a burden. I may get the power and the praises and the attention wearing it and saving everyone - but at the end of the day walking back to my empty apartment, all I want to do is lay down and sleep until the next century.
After 20++ years of wearing this Goddamn suit, I realize that it is not who I am. I don't flourish from wearing it, I am being depleted. I simply don't have enough testosterones to keep doing this.
Every time I need to be a Masculina, I am not drawing strength from a continuous supply, I am drawing it from a generator meant for use in emergency only.
I am still lucky I at least get some rest after I'm done working - but imagine it would be in a relationship?
I seriously don't know how those women who took on the man's role in marriage stay sane. It is an extremely exhausting role that our body isn't equipped to handle. Feminists can yell "man and woman can do the same!" all they want, but my own body can't lie to me. I am tired, I am exhausted, I am burning TF out and I am done.
Doesn't mean that I want to completely remove this Masculina suit and turn into a fully submissive trad wife - NO. But I want to work smart, not hard.
This Masculina suit has its purpose, but I don't want to do it the old way where it pretty much eats up the majority of my time. I want to use it only when needed, and be able to put it away and fully relax and have fun when I don't need to be in my masculine energy.
And I definitely don't want to go into dates and relationship with the Masculina suit because it will bite me in the ass, hard.

5) By embracing my femininity, I finally found peace.

I still at the very beginning of my feminine journey and still can't fully embrace it because I had been a Masculina pretty much my entire living life.
But I notice how relaxing it is to not be able to worry anymore about solving other peoples' problems and whenever I make mistakes - I just let it pass over me and relax.
I no longer worry about being too lazy, don't have superb "wifey" skills at my age - I just do what I want when I want and relax.
I don't get too hard on myself whenever I don't do anything productive that day - I can relax.
I don't care anymore about other people's opinions and their standards on me - I just do things that makes me happy and gets me where I want.
And that translated into me not tolerating scrotes being rude - he gets the death stare and the interaction ended immediately.
I don't worry anymore about being "polite", if he doesn't know how to behave, then he can GTFO.
I don't worry anymore about being "perfect" and "badass" - I focus on what makes me happy and joyful instead.
And the biggest thing - I am slowly getting used to being helped and asking for help. And let me tell you sisters THAT is the most nerve-wracking, anxiety crushing, scary thing I ever did.
And the outcome? Both men and women will happily lend a hand when I asked politely and thank them with a genuine gratitude. And is ready to help again whenever I needed. MIND. BLOWNNNNNN.
And being fully paid for, taken care of, and spoiled during a dinner date is a million, trillion, quadrillion times better than a 50/50 coffee "date". I don't need a "great conversationalist", I need my food paid and my purse untouched.

6) I learned that when you let a man be a man, you can rest well and comfortably be the woman in the relationship. You DO NOT need to compete with him!

It is scary AF to be vulnerable with a man after living a life completely depending on myself and only trusting myself - but I've come to understand when you want to be in a relationship, you have to learn how to balance the trust and vulnerability.
It does NOT mean that you have to be entirely relying on him to the point that you are helpless on your own - but it also does NOT mean that you close yourself completely off and is always suspicious of him.
When FDS says that you continue to vet him even after 10, 20 years of marriage - that means that you see him for who he is and not what you think he is - basically don't fall into the trap of gaslighting yourself. Observe, like a scientist do.
But you still let him do his job, trust that he will take care of you, and be vulnerable as in let him solve your problem for you. Trust his actions, not his words.
Your job is to relax, let the man be the man and let yourself comfortably be the woman. Be the one receiving, the one pampered, the one catered to. A HVM masculine man that truly loves you will be happy to do all that, trust me. It is his pride to make you happy and content.
Modern feminism has really distorted our view on what it means to be "equal" when it comes to relationship - yes we deserve equal wage, equal chances in education, equal rights in political decision, career ladder and all that because we are Goddamn human and not second class citizens.
But that does not mean we suddenly became the "man" in a relationship and starts competing with him, starts doing what he is suppose to be doing, starts controlling him.
Because once you create that dynamic: a) A HVM will respectfully end it because he doesn't want to be in a relationship where you both keep fighting for the wheel - it is exhausting or b) A Feminina will happily takes a step back and let you be the "man". And by that he means he won't be lifting a finger. Ever.
That 50/50 "Equality!! Feminist power!!" culture sounds great on the first few dates - but ask any women who lived that life for 10, 20 years, and you will find that there's a lot of resentment, exhaustion, anger, burn out symptoms, wishing that he contributes more, "I wish I can just leave and start anew", and "It doesn't feel like I have a husband, but another child".
Yes, it feels weird when your date pays for you, buys you things, some may even give allowances because they want to see you more - it feels uncomfortable and like we are taking advantage of him - especially for my Masculina sisters. Because we never have someone care that much about us. But know that that is how a High Value Masculine man shows that he is serious, that he cares about you.
He doesn't need you to pay your share, he doesn't need you to pay him back, he doesn't need you to "pull your weight" - he needs you to trust him and enjoy yourself. He wants to see you happy.
A 50/50 relationship will never truly make us women happy. You may feel proud, because you show em' how badass you are, but honestly I've never yet see a truly happy woman in a 50/50 relationship.
I've had enough of that pride, I honestly just want to be happy. If I can't find that guy, then I will be happily single forever.

TLDR;

I have been there done that as a Masculina (a Masculine-energy dominant woman) growing up - I don't want to be the "man" in the relationship.
I realize I am attracting a Feminina (a Feminine-energy dominant man) - the kind that happily makes you do the man's role of protecting and providing while he sits back and take the receiving role. This is the 50/50 relationship that you see everywhere nowadays.
That Masculina suit gives me the power, respect, and freedom that I would never have otherwise, but at the end of the day I am still exhausted. It is meant to be used only when needed - I don't want to have to play that role in a relationship too - I will be insane!
A man that is so used to 50/50 relationship, will NEVER want to step up and cover 100% when something happens to you - we have seen it and heard of it, many women got left behind when they suffer diseases or unable to cover their 50% share. Why suffer when they can just find a new playmate?
If he doesn't feel emasculated with woman pays for the date, he won't feel emasculated when the woman pays for the bills, won't feel emasculated when the woman becomes the breadwinner, won't feel emasculated when asking for the woman to lend him money or support his lifestyle - but will feel emasculated when the woman rightfully tell him what to do since she leads the relationship because he is still a man with ego. And that feeling will grow into deep raging resentment and that's how you find celebrities with amazing gorgeous successful wife cheating with the babysitter or the hooker.
That 50/50 "Equality!! Feminist power!!" culture sounds great on the first few dates - but ask any women who lived that life for 10, 20 years, and you will find that there's a lot of resentment, exhaustion, anger, burn out symptoms, wishing that he contributes more, "I wish I can just leave and start anew", and "It doesn't feel like I have a husband, but another child".
A 50/50 relationship will never truly make us women happy. You may feel proud, because you show em' how badass you are, but honestly I've never yet see a truly happy wife in a 50/50 relationship.
That 50/50 may sound innocent enough on your first few dates - but it is just the beginning of a long miserable life ahead should you choose to stay with that guy.

Princess · May 27, 2022

Part 4:

This is a continuation of these posts:

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 1)

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 2)

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 3)

Thank you so much to /u/Hannyy101/ for bringing this up and inspire me to create this post!

Also tagging our awesome mods u/Phoenix__Rising2018/ and u/electroloop/

This time we will be focusing on the most popular argument used by scrotes and pickmes when you refuse to entertain the 50/50 bullshit.

If you have anymore arguments by both men and women that you would like for me to break down, leave it in the comment section and I would address them in the next part(s).

8) When the man asks "What do you bring to the table?"

First and foremost, if any men ever ask you this question on a date - know that he is definitely a LVM/NVM and probably a Feminina as well - so that's your cue to up and leave, bathroom and ghost, block and delete.
Don't waste your time arguing with these men - they aren't there to listen to you, they just want to neg, gaslight and manipulate you. They don't care what you "bring to the table" - they just want to take you down a peg so that they can feel good about themselves.
A true HV masculine man already knows how much value you will bring to his life - that's why he asked you out on a date. He is not there to size you up or make you "prove your worth" - he already done the cost-benefit analysis beforehand and decide that you are definitely worth his investment.
u/curlywurlyprincess/ said it best:

A woman is the table. The man has to bring something to her and make sure she feels comfortable, happy and safe. A woman automatically enriches a man’s life by choosing to be with him. We’re not the same.

So my breakdowns here is not meant to be used as points to counter scrotes' arguments.
NEVER ARGUE WITH MEN AND PICKMES, JUST WALK AWAY! I REPEAT, JUST WALK AWAY!!
These points are for YOU : it is for you to internalize and reflect on what your role is as the feminine counterpart in relationship, and why you are already worthy without needing to "prove" your worth.
These are the reasons why you are born as a woman - and why you don't need to take over the man's job in the relationship, why you are the receiver, why you are meant to be protected and provided for.

HERE'S THE THING: MEN CAN NEVER SEE US AS PERFECT EQUALS, LIKE HOW THEY SEE THEIR FELLOW MEN - HENCE THEY CAN NEVER DO A PERFECT 50/50 WITH US!

Being perfectly "equal" comes from a mindset of "you move the left wheel, I move the right". It comes from the assumption that your are comrade in arms, you watch his back, he watches yours.
That kind of dynamic make perfect sense in the world of men's brotherhood because they naturally see each other as perfect equals.
That won't work when it comes to a relationship - especially a heterosexual one.
Now here's the hard, bitter truth - Men will never see us as equal, no matter how much work we put in to change their mind, no matter how much we wish for it, no matter how hard we work to "prove" ourselves.
They can play pretend for sure - but deep down inside, they can never see us as equal - it is in their wiring, it is not something they can change.

WOMEN AREN'T MEANT TO BE "EQUAL" TO MEN - WE ARE MEANT TO BE COMPLEMENTARY TO THEM!

But here's another thing - after 20+ years of living as a Masculina I've realized that women are not meant to be men's equals in relationship - we are meant to be their complementary.
The fight for "being equal" should be reserved to our human rights and education/career advances etc. in the society - that makes sense since we do the same work, so we should get paid the same.
But we should always be complementary when it comes to dating and marriage. There is no sense in taking over the man's role - if we do that, why even date men?
Femininity and Masculinity have very different roles to play - and we may never truly understand why - we just eventually realize that that is how it should be. It is something deeply subconscious, older and wiser than the years and knowledge of all humanity combined.
We all are a product of evolution, and at some point we have to admit that we don't know a lot - even our "logical" argument is only as far as our knowledge goes. Our body, our subconscious, our instinct, our gut knows more than we consciously do.
And I can admit now doing 50/50, pursuing the man, and worrying about "what do we bring to the table?" are wrong.
If a scrote ask me to explain why it felt wrong - I honestly can't answer. I just know deep down inside that this role reversal, 50/50 culture is wrong and being take care of, provided and protected is right. That is what a relationship is.
BUT I can stand up, open my eyes far and wide, and just take a look around - since this role-reversal 50/50 culture is already the norm in our modern society - and observe the reality.
Pickmes and scrotes can spun the BS tale of how "good" their life is until the next decade and try gaslighting me to hell and back - but I simply can't unseen what I've seen - those marriages are hell.
Women are being overworked to the point of near insanity. They are exhausted, bitter, angry, resentful, stressed, sick and sad. I literally got chills imagining if I ended up in such relationship.
I don't understand why these otherwise amazing, capable, beautiful, efficient women are stuck with a parasitic manchild that they parade around, trying to convince people that he is "the man".
Like sis, who are you trying to fool? You here talking till your face is blue about how "amazing" he is while keeping the leash on your three screaming children - while he is over there playing with his phone and leering at younger women.
So instead on thinking that we should be "equal" to them - we have to start thinking about being complementary to a HVM.
Stop thinking about how pay your "share" and start thinking about how to rest in your femininity, in your womanhood, what your role is and how to play it - so that the HVM can play his role and do his job as the man.
Remember that healthy relationship is build on balance of the opposite sides - there's a yin to the yang, a night to the day, a light to the dark - a feminine to the masculine.
This dynamic is deeper and complex that a mere you pay 50 he pays 50 - it is a dynamic that requires you to develop fully into your role, while he develops fully into his - and you both work as a harmony.
No side is less than the other in complementariness, and you do NOT become co-dependent that you are completely helpless without him - BUT you need to reach that level of maturity and wholeness on your side - and he on his side so that you both create a healthy balanced bond.
So adopting that mindset of how to be complementary to a high-value masculine man - here's some points for my sisters who can't yet see what her worth is as a woman, as the feminine side in the relationship.
It is not comprehensive nor in depth, but it is a good starting point:

Your ability to give him a family and turn a house into a home

Let's start with the most obvious point - our ability to give birth, to continue their legacy, to give them a family of their own.
Even for sisters who can't get pregnant or wants to be childfree - we have the inherent ability to turn their house into a home.
Men are by design a pack animal - they thrive and find the meaning of life in having their own family. Men can't live alone for long - they tend to develop depression and psychological problems.
There are a few rare men who can live a solitary life - but those are the exceptions, compared to women who have been documented for years living just fine in seclusion.
Scrotes and society really like to peddle the "crazy cat lady" BS but if you watch enough documentaries about nursing homes, homeless people, or people dying alone found after weeks - the majority of cases are men.
As a healthy-minded women, most of us desire to have our own family, but it won't severely impact our health if we don't.
But for men, I believe having a family is a need - they seem to deteriorate if they don't have a family of their own, even if they are surrounded by wealth and friends.
Going back home to an empty house hits different to them than to us - especially for provider men who spend most of their days working and making money - the solitude is their worst enemy.
I know some men who can't even stand eating alone - which confuses me because I prefer eating alone if the company isn't good - but seems like it is a torture to them.
No matter what kind of man - from HVM to LVM scrotes, they need a partner to fulfill their loneliness - they are afraid of being alone.
That's why scrotes rather settle with a woman they hate than doing the logical move of waiting until they meet their dream woman, and HVM immediately go out to find the perfect partner after they are done building their finances.
So in this case, what do we "bring to the table?" - ourselves, literally. Unless they want to turn gay and have a male partner - they literally need us to give them a family.
They need us to bear them children, they need us to fill their home, they need us to be their family unit, they need us to avoid drowning in loneliness - they. need. us.
Scrotes be yelling MGTOW!!! all the damn time - but why are they still here lurking in a WOMEN-ONLY space? Go MGTOW and shut up, ffs.
It is not even our role, it is our existence - they need our existence to complete their half of the set. Scrotes like to pretend they don't, but catch them when they are desperate and see who needs who more.

Your Respect

Imagine this: You just came back from your second job to a messy house, your children running around still in their dirty diapers unbathed, dirty clothes piled up, dirty dishes in the sink and there's no food - while your "husband" is there on the couch, playing games while waiting for you to start on dinner ASAP.
I DON'T CARE about the rare "house-husband" - I am talking about the MAJORITY of "50/50" relationship out there - this is their reality.
Can you honestly, honestly say that you respect that kind of "husband"? Can you respect him as your life partner, the man of the house, the head of the family?
Sure, he pays "half"(-ish) of the bills and groceries, but can you really, truly respect that man?
Now imagine you wake up to see that the kids are ready, your husband came to the bedroom with a fresh cup of coffee made exactly to your liking, and the family is all waiting for you downstairs for breakfast?
Now can you honestly say that you respect that man?
If there's one thing men can't live without in their life - it is respect.
And the number one thing men crave from us aside from our existence? It is our respect to them as a man.
As I always said, part of men's design is their ego, especially over women. And the oxygen to that ego is respect.
And here's the thing - respect can only be earned, not given.
Unlike care, nurture and pity - you can't simply give, or pretend that you respect him.
Respect is one of those core human things that can only be received after a person undergo trials and prove that he is worth the respect.
And when it comes to relationship between a man and a woman - their role is to earn that respect, and our role is to respect them after they prove their worthiness.
Women, by design don't need a man's respect - it is not something that will destroy us if we don't have it - so we don't need to "prove" our worth to a man.
But it is crucial for a man to have our respect - they will be destroyed if they don't have it, it is in their wiring - so they need to prove their worth to us.
So they have to undergo the trials of becoming a man of means, a protector and provider, a reliable and trustworthy future head of the family - and prove that they are fully capable of taking care of us - and hence we will naturally respect them.
This natural progression simply can't happen in a role-reversal, 50/50, Masculina-Feminina relationship.
Women simply can't respect a man that needs her to support half the finances, or let her be the breadwinner of the family.
Yet even the most passive Feminina man is still a man - he still has that man's ego and need for respect deep in his wiring - so that's how a seemingly "progressive" 50/50 relationship turns into the husband resenting the accomplished breadwinner wife and cheats on her with the babysitter and the hooker.
And for my sisters that think men feeling emasculated is "silly" and "a weak man's issue" - just remember that an emasculated man is a dangerous man - the kind that can murder and disremember his own wife.
We all have to remember that we are not men - so we can never understand the full extent of how their brain operates.
You can never really trust a man's words, only his actions because I read somewhere that men operates more on their subconscious mind than conscious - so he may think he is okay with a breadwinner wife, but deep down, over time, he actually is not okay at all.
But we already know as a fact that men as a whole, high value or low value - do have ego over women - so they do need respect, and at risk of feeling emasculated if we compete or took over the leading role in the relationship.
The difference is that HVM will respectfully end the relationship, while LVM/NVM Feminina will pretend or genuinely think they want a 50/50 breadwinner wife, but end up feeling emasculated and resenting the very hand that provides for them.
So please be very careful with the man that say he "doesn't mind" you taking on the steering wheel.

TLDR;

If any man ever ask you "what do you bring to the table" - RUN.
Men can never see us as perfect equals like how they view their fellow men - it is just how they are wired.
Women are not meant to be men's equals in relationship - we are meant to be their complementary.
Remember that healthy relationship is build on balance of the opposite sides - there's a yin to the yang, a night to the day, a light to the dark - a feminine to the masculine.
No matter what kind of man - from HVM to LVM scrotes, they need a partner to fulfill their loneliness - they are afraid of being alone.
Men need us to bear them children, they need us to fill their home, they need us to be their family unit, they need us to avoid drowning in loneliness - they. need. us.
They need our existence to complete their half of the set. Scrotes like to pretend they don't, but catch them when they are desperate and see who needs who more.
The number one thing men crave from us aside from our existence? It is our respect to them as a man.
And when it comes to relationship between a man and a woman - their role is to earn that respect, and our role is to respect them after they prove their worthiness.
So they have to undergo the trials of becoming a man of means, a protector and provider, a reliable and trustworthy future head of the family - and prove that they are fully capable of taking care of us - and hence we will naturally respect them.

P/S: I will continue these points in Part 5 since this is getting way too long, so stay tuned!

Princess · May 27, 2022

Earlier part of this series:

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 1)

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 2)

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 3)

Also tagging our awesome mods u/Phoenix__Rising2018/ and u/electroloop/

This post is a direct continuation of Why you should NEVER go 50/50 (Part 4) in which we discuss:

8) When the man asks "What do you bring to the table?"

And here are a few more points that I can't fit in previously.

I also need to preface that when I say "men/man" here, I am mainly talking about HIGH VALUE MEN. Scrotes LVM/NVM have no place here, they are already eliminated on the first date. Block and delete ladies.

Your High Value Feminine presence

You probably heard it somewhere - about how some women just exude this magnetic presence that makes men open the door and push the chair for them voluntarily.
It sounded so far-fetched and a thing only the most beautiful women will experience - but when you become a High Value Woman and learn to embrace your femininity - you too will exude that presence.
Even if you think you aren't attractive or men never pay any romantic interest in you - you do have that magnetic presence as a born female with dominant feminine energy, you just need to rediscover it - because we have been too masculinized by society.
A feminine presence will look different in different women because we all experience our own unique road - but as a general rule, it is your truest self when you are most balanced, healthy, relaxed, tranquil and you accept life in all its ugliness and beautifulness.
That's why the term used in "resting in your femininity" - it is a passive being state, as opposed to the active doing state of masculinity.
Some people also describe it as quiet confidence - you are just very comfortable and content with yourself, you don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone. They can take you as you are, or they can respectfully go.
So what is it about a woman's feminine presence that is so magnetic to men?
A high value masculine world is very rigid, goal-driven, unforgiving at times, tough, highly disciplined, boring and full of mind-numbing routines - it is like running uphill and each corner gets tougher and tougher.
So when he meets a woman that is balanced, healthy, relaxed, tranquil and and just happily enjoying life - it is like breathing in fresh air, like stepping into a lush rose garden, like walking a field of daisies.
Ever heard of happy wife, happy life? You basically become the source of happiness and relaxation to him - that's why men are willing to go to war for their women.
They are happy when you are happy, and would do anything to ensure you stay happy.
So when they are in a feminine presence on a date, they won't be blown away by your offer to pay half or talking about what you can do for them.
They will be blown away when you sit down in front of him and being unapologetically feminine.
He may try to pull that "gold digger" BS on you when you didn't immediately reach for your purse when the bill arrive - but asks him matter-of-factly "So you can't afford this date then? Why did you ask me out?" and watch him fumbling on his words.
Erect your boundaries sky high - that's how you get a man to respect you.
And here's the bit about respect when it comes to a man respecting a woman - a man had to DO for the woman to earn her respect, while a woman has to BE herself for the man to respect her.
When a woman has high standards, firm boundaries, not being afraid to say NO, genuine confidence and is comfortable in her own skin, has her own life not revolving the guy 24/7, will not take disrespect and will walk away the minute she sense any flicker of it, when she is an immovable mover, when she has her own moral code and isn't afraid to stand in her truth and so, so much more - you don't even have to do or say anything, just be present and he knows instantly you aren't to be taken lightly.
And what's more important is that - like I said in Part 4, a man needs your respect - so that's why he has to prove his worth to you, not the other way around.
For us women tough, respect is like a nice expensive jewelry. It feels great to have it, but you don't live and breathe it. That's why women can live just fine in seclusion - our mental health won't be affected by the lack of people around to give us validation and respect. That's our power.
Patriarchy knows this power very well - so that's why we are brainwashed to constantly needing attention, validation, and "respect" by doing so much for other people.
And somehow suddenly we need to "prove what we bring to the table" to a man. I refuse to entertain that BS any longer after realizing that a man can benefit greatly from my presence alone.
So ladies, don't worn yourself out thinking about how to get respect from a man - just live your queen life to the fullest and ruthlessly enforcing your boundaries, and you will notice how he immediately sit up straighter whenever you enter the room.
Actions speaks louder than words. You don't need any verbal confirmation, just watch how he acts around you.

Your ability to receive with gratitude

This might be hard to believe for some - but a true high value masculine man who wants to protect and provide for his woman - what makes him the happiest is when he see your glowing happiness from receiving his efforts - not when you split the food 50/50.
The heavily masculine society that we live in is very much against receiving and being a constant receiver because for masculine, receiving is bad because it diminish them.
But remember that feminine is the complementary to the masculine, so for us receiving is actually good because we thrive in receiving.
But of course you will never learn this in school because when the whole society is masculine inclined, what is good for masculine becomes the moral code.
So we are all bombarded with the message that "it is better to give than to receive" - not realizing that that moral code is what actually makes us unhappy and exhausted.
Now think about it for a second - if everyone just wants to give give and give, yet nobody wants to receive - what happens?
You get the current phenomenon where narcissists are highly loved and respected because those people are the only ones willing to take take and take.
We all hate narcissists and don't understand why they get to have all the nice things, being the way they are - not realizing that all of us only feel good being a giver and an anxious mess when we receive nice gestures.
I also observe that women tend to give too much to the point of burning ourselves out and don't know when and how to stop - mainly due to our nurture and loving nature. This phenomenon is rarer in men.
We aren't designed to continuously and generously giving - eventually, we will run out of fumes.
Yes, it feels great to get the helper's high and feeling like the good person when you give and help others, but remember: kindness is not just in giving, but also in receiving.
I notice that people, men and women are very happy to find and give me things when I clearly express how I wish that I can get the thing.
For example - I really really love black-colored things and my friends always found a black mug or plushie or something and bought it for me because those things reminded them of me.
And I can see how proud they are when they see me light up - I don't even do anything, I just get really really happy for their surprise present. Yet that's all they need.
That is what a HV masculine man want and need and crave from us - he wants so so badly for you to light up and smile wide and blushing pink because you are really really happy because of what he gives or do for you. And that's all he needs.
It is akin to a thirsty traveler finding a glistening oasis in the middle of the desert.
He got all this giving desire and the ability to do it and is raring to go - but he needs a comfortable grateful receiver so he can feel fulfilled and appreciated.
But just like how we have difficulty finding a genuine HVM, they are also having difficulty finding a genuine grateful feminine receiver, and often get tangled with narcissists instead.
The HVMs out there need us women to step into our feminine and learn how to be the feminine receiver they so desperately need. It is the only form of kindness men truly need from us - not our money or our pity.
We all will benefit greatly from learning the art of receiving with gratitude.
I understand the fear and anxiety, feeling like you "owe" him when he spends on you, and the more he spends the more dread you feel - but please know that those feelings are due to trauma and brainwashing all women so viciously suffer since we are a little girl.
And manipulation from scrotes LVM/NVM narcissists that wants to use and abuse you.
It is a toxic wound, that we all have to face and heal from if we want to be happy. We all deserve to be protected and provided for, but nobody can make you believe that unless you yourself starts to believe it.
No, you aren't "evil" for expecting the man to pay for the date - he asked you out, it is basic courtesy.
The sperm chases the egg remember? And the egg got to choose the strongest, most quality sperm and rejecting the rest.
No, you aren't a "w***e" for receiving money and gifts from the man who is courting you, that's just what courtship is.
Men expecting you to sleep with him on the first date is "normal", but you receiving nice treatments from the man who just want to make you happy is "w***ing yourself out" - how is that logical??
No, you aren't a "b***h" for expecting your husband to protect and provide for you - that is what a HARMONIOUS marriage looks like.
Why marry a guy and multiply your burden when you can just stay single and relax? A husband is suppose to make you happier, not more exhausted.
If you really want to do a favor for the man who has been so kind and generous to you - do it by receiving more comfortably and be more transparent with your happiness. Give him gratitude from the very core of your soul.
It sounds so simple and easy - but it is even rarer than HVMs.
Because the society has convinced us that being the receiver is the "lesser" position.
So instead of learning how to properly receive with gratitude, we grow up becoming awkward and anxious when we receive compliments and kind gestures - we deflect, push it back, demean ourselves, and immediately wants to repay them back so you don't "owe" them anything. Which ends up making them feel bad for their gesture.
Add in the "gold digger" and "I want to find real woman, not those aiming for my wallet" scare tactics - we all become terrified of receiving from people, and especially from men.
Yet how many men out there you see receiving gifts, money, house, car from their girlfriend? And they take without guilt yet the society turns a blind eye to that? Why aren't they labelled gold digger and manw***e?
Here's the simple truth - in relationship, when one side wants to give, the other side has to receive. And if you present yourself as the giver, you will attract men that wants to receive and repel men that want to give. So choose wisely.
It is a man's job to give, it is hard-wired into their being - the difference is that a mature HVM will fully embrace his role and is raring to give, while immature feminina LVM/NVM will throw tantrums due to having to shoulder the responsibility and demand that you go halfsies because "it is not fair, wahhh!!!!".

Your ability to make him feel like "the man"

I always say it and I will say it again - men have ego.
People get triggered when I say this probably because they associate the sentence above with egoistical narcissistic men.
Here's the thing - EVERYONE, MEN AND WOMEN HAVE EGO.
Ego is neutral, it is our sense of self-importance. We need to have a sense of self-importance so that we can prioritize ourselves when deemed necessary.
BUT just like everything else, that ego needs to be balanced and healthy.
And men's ego when it comes to women, especially their love interest are different from their fellow men.
I am discussing this in regards to only High Value Masculine Healthy Men because you already eliminate the LVM/NVM/ZVM scrotes in the first date. Block and delete, up and leave, bathroom and ghost ladies.
A healthy man's ego, when it comes to a woman they are interested in, is basically him wanting to feel like he is "your man".
A masculine can't make another masculine feel like "the man" - both can only make each other feel like equals.
It is a uniquely feminine ability to make the man feel like "the man" simply by being our feminine self.
And for those who asks "So I could never accept a promotion/chances of earning higher than him/building my own business in case I might hurt his ego?"
Let me introduce you to the concept of - your money is your money, his money is for the family.
Go and get whatever it is that makes you happy - but that doesn't mean you suddenly take over the man's job in the relationship.
Never give him the permission to skip on his responsibilities.
The same principle applied if you are skilled at something - like if you can create a landscape people can drool over - do personal projects or create a business you can enjoy. But let him mow the lawn and trim the bushes. Those are the very boring and not fun chores - Let him take care of them! Be more selfish with where you spend your energy.
Let him be inspired by you instead - and motivates him to push harder and get better so that he can provide for you at the level you are now at.
I am also a fan of keeping some things private, even from my own future partner - because my financials isn't any of his business, so I see no reason why I have to share every single little thing.
When you understand that being a provider is 100% the man's job - you got to enjoy the freedom of working and quitting whenever you feel like it.
You aren't burdened by responsibilities and pressure, you simply doing what you love to do, however you like, whichever way you like.
That also translated into you working differently - you get to set your own pace and boundaries, instead of feeling chained and pressured because you got people relying on you bringing in half the income.
I know of a very brilliant O&G, the head of her department in a prestigious university hospital who decided one day that she was done with her career and wanted to quit. And she did, happily because her husband is the one providing for the family. She now practicing privately.
I also know of another lady in her 60s still working a back-breaking job because she does the 50/50 marriage and her kids are enrolling in college.
If you are currently dating a man who earn less than you or not at the same level where you are at or aiming to be, the best advice I can give you is to consider hypergamy.
If you are a certain level or are aiming for a certain level, maybe it is best for you to focus on man who are at that level and above - so that he can comfortably provide for you.
Remember, dating is suppose to be a serious process of you choosing the best future husband for your future family, the best future father for your future kids, the best future loyal lover for your future long marriage, the best future provider and protector masculine man for your feminine self.
You simply can't afford to do charity dating, "give a guy a chance", hookups, dating broke guys, wasting your money doing the 50/50 BS - being a feminine presence is expensive, you can't stretch yourself thin giving all these scrotes your precious time and attention.
You can't and should not date "potential" - if he want to, he would. He doesn't need your encouragement or nagging or love to change - he will change if he wants to change.
Even if you do just want to date for fun, for practice or whatever, you are better of doing multiple "friendly outings" and don't spend more time than necessary with them. Learn how to receive with gratitude and being comfortable with that.
And no, never trust the scrotes who "test" their date to see which one is "real" - that is immaturity at its finest level.
A true HVM don't need to do any BS "tests" - he already vetted you before asking you out, he doesn't need to play any of these childish mind games. He is ready and prepared to impress when he set foot on that date.
A HVM on a date wants to prove to you he can be "the man" - your man.
And It is your turn to vet him on the date and moving forward.
Remember, don't build with a man. Find "your man".

TLDR;

A feminine presence will look different in different women because we all experience our own unique road - but as a general rule, it is your truest self when you are most balanced, healthy, relaxed, tranquil and you accept life in all its ugliness and beautifulness.
When a man meets a woman that is balanced, healthy, relaxed, tranquil and and just happily enjoying life - it is like breathing in fresh air, like stepping into a lush rose garden, like walking a field of daisies.
When a woman has high standards, firm boundaries, not being afraid to say NO, genuine confidence and is comfortable in her own skin, has her own life not revolving the guy 24/7, will not take disrespect and will walk away the minute she sense any flicker of it, when she is an immovable mover, when she has her own moral code and isn't afraid to stand in her truth and so, so much more - you don't even have to do or say anything, just be present and he knows instantly you aren't to be taken lightly.
A true high value masculine man who wants to protect and provide for his woman - what makes him the happiest is when he see your glowing happiness from receiving his efforts - not when you split the food 50/50.
He got all this giving desire and the ability to do it and is raring to go - but he needs a comfortable grateful receiver so he can feel fulfilled and appreciated.
The HVMs out there need us women to step into our feminine and learn how to be the feminine receiver they so desperately need. It is the only form of kindness men truly need from us - not our money or our pity.
A healthy man's ego, when it comes to a woman they are interested in, is basically him wanting to feel like he is "your man".
Go get your promotions or build your business - but never take over the man's job. Never give him the permission to skip on his responsibilities.
Your money is your money, his money is for the family.
The same principle applied if you are skilled at something - like if you can create a landscape people can drool over - do personal projects or create a business you can enjoy. But let him mow the lawn and trim the bushes. Those are the very boring and not fun chores - Let him take care of them! Be more selfish with where you spend your energy.
Remember, dating is suppose to be a serious process of you choosing the best future husband for your future family, the best future father for your future kids, the best future loyal lover for your future long marriage, the best future provider and protector masculine man for your feminine self.
You simply can't afford to do charity dating, "give a guy a chance", hookups, dating broke guys, wasting your money doing the 50/50 BS - being a feminine presence is expensive, you can't stretch yourself thin giving all these scrotes your precious time and attention.

Princess · May 27, 2022

Lots of amazing comments on Saynad's threads.

Why you Should Never go 50/50 on a Date (5 parts out of 5)

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Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments

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Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 2)

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Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 3)

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Why you Should Never go 50/50 on a Date (5 parts out of 5)

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Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments​

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Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 2)​

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Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 3)​

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Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 2)

Why you should NEVER go 50/50 on a date: Breaking down the most common arguments (Part. 3)